Stephen Covey, author of the best seller, “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” wrote, “Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us.”
If there is one great lesson that I learned in 2012, it’s just that.
Reflection
This was a very satisfying and productive year for me in many ways. I’ve grown a lot. I’m sure that the mindset which I’ve incorporated into my daily thinking, as reflected in Covey’s commentary above, had much to do with that. During various situations, where frustration and stress could have easily built to a crescendo of overwhelming proportions, I just didn’t allow it to happen. In the workplace and beyond, it was helpful to often remind myself that if I felt this way or that way about a certain circumstance, it really had nothing to do with the person with whom I was engaged or the circumstance itself. It had everything to do with me and my response to the situation at hand or the person’s behavior.
Expectations
I recently had a conversation with a team member as I was walking along Greenwich Avenue shopping for Christmas gifts. We discussed a variety of topics. At one point during the course of our conversation she commented, “You know Al, I stopped having expectations of people a long time ago. If you place your own expectations on others, they will disappoint you almost every time.” Isn’t that the truth? Once I stopped having expectations of others, whether they be those with whom I have a personal relationship or at the workplace, I’ve found my relationship with them to be much more rewarding.
2013
I’m looking forward to an excellent 2013. I’m a bit more seasoned and experienced with this attitude change. My reactions to setbacks are much more innate. I thoroughly realize that if I’m unhappy about something or with someone, it’s due to feelings, thinking and behavior of my own accord, and my own accord alone. We all have the freedom to choose, and those choices will determine whether 2013 is as enriching as it can be. Or not.
How has your mindset changed during the past year?
To what degree do you allow others to affect how you feel about things?
What changes will you make to increase your happiness in 2013?
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[...] Winston Churchill put it this way, “A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” I suppose this has already become a theme in my blog posts for 2013. If you haven’t already, please read my New Year’s Day post entitled, “Freedom To Choose In The New Year.” [...]